My failed Laffy Taffy Application

I recently learned that Laffy Taffy was hiring a new assistant editor and immediately applied for the job. Unfortunately, they weren't impressed enough with my writing sample to make an offer (though they apparently were impressed enough to apply for a restraining order).

Since my Laffy Taffy jokes aren't likely to make it onto a wrapper anytime soon, I present them to the world via this blog. Questions first, answer below a picture of my consultants. No peeking!


1) Where did the Guernsey and her boyfriend make out?

2) What did Al Capone say to his mechanical pencil?

3) Which kind of furniture is always made of leather?

4) What did the alchemist say to his new gold-making machine?

5) What did the alchemist say the first time his heifer kicked him?

6) What did the alchemist say when his heifer kicked him again?

1) On the cowch!

2) "I'm gonna pump you full of lead!"

3) The cowch.

4) "I'm gonna pump you full of lead!"

5) "Cowch!"

6) "I'm gonna pump you full of lead!"