Monday, August 17, 2009

Unofficial Wedding Registry

Nicole and I have been discussing the subject of wedding registry of late. We both prefer the Punjabi custom in which the bride and groom sit and have money dropped on their laps by well-wishers, but trusted sources tell us that many Americans feel like cash money "is icky" and should be kept away from wedding celebrations. What could we, who already have a full set of kitchenware, possibly want enough to justify transporting across the country, however?

A few things came immediately to mind:

Nothing says "Eternal Family" quite like this Gone
With The Wind
cookie jar, available for only $89.99
from Target.

A literal take on the Shakespearean saying "If music be the food
of love, play on." Turn the knob, and the European soldier "emits
a plaintive whooping sound" while moving his left arm up and
down as the tiger roars. Then crack out the keyboard and
play Chopsticks to your heart's content. This piece is not for sale,
but could be stolen from the V&A Museum in London.

If there's one kind of cash no sane American objects
to, it's Johnny Cash. And what better way to have him
in our home than reading the Bible on a follow-along
DVD? This could make years of Family Home Evening fun.

Goats are great for lawn maintenance and as property guards,
and are known as man's fifth-best friend. They transport well
if you eat them first. (Nicole is a vegetarian, but I can take care
of that part when the time comes.)

The most technologically-advanced part
of the average American kitchen, as shown
by this diagram, is the Rotary Egg Beater.
This appears to be one of the few pieces
we're missing, and we'd really like to find
a nice vintage one. Anything before 1964
will do.

Anyway, those are a few ideas on what you could get us. We're also seeing what we can do to get officially registered here, here, and here.


  1. I would like to add that if anyone of our friends or family is generous and devoted enough to give us Tippo's Tiger, you ought to also visit the first place where we are registered. I like sculptures, particularly Michelangelo's Unfinished Slaves. I'd also be happy with Cupid and Psyche. It would look nice either on the front lawn or front room. Hmmmm. . .

    (Psst, James. . . Way to be subtle about preferring cash over gifts. I thought there would be a link to Caucajewmexdian.)

  2. the best part of the money-giving tradition is getting to dance around the couple while throwing bills into the air! This way no one knows exactly how much you gave, either.

  3. You two are great! I'm sad I won't be there to celebrate with you... (from Kellyanne)

  4. James,

    You forgot the mention the other Punjabi tradition where the bride's sisters and female cousins stop the groom at the door and demand money, only letting him into his own wedding after he has paid a hefty enough bribe. Have you not mentioned that to Kirsten? Uncle Steve

  5. So, you're getting married tomorrow and so I came here to come up with a wedding gift. You didn't provide a link to buy a goat though, and a goat could be part of a dowry, so I guess I'm not going to get you one, even though I wanted to.


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