As many of you are aware, leading Iranian government officials have opted to use their four-year break between vote-rigging efforts to attempt to develop nuclear "power plants of peace" which have absolutely nothing to do with a purely hypothetical desire to develop nuclear weapons (after all, why would a country with American troops occupying its eastern and western neighbors want nuclear weapons?). Recently, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has gone so far as to publicly call on Iran's nuclear agency to enrich Iran's uranium to "a high enough grade to piss off the West, but not high enough to break any international laws...yet" by year's end.
This is, of course, concerning to top American politicians, who believe that the time between elections is best spent calling each other "stupidhead." Hilary Clinton, along with her foreign policy assistant Barack Obama, have recently publicly called for stronger economic sanctions against bad guys in Iran and their families.
Apparently, the administration is hoping that just as tough economic sanctions convinced North Korea to leave the "Axis of Evil" and start acting more like the Carebear of the Far East, just as tough economic sanctions on Iraq convinced Saddam Hussein to mend his ways and avoid getting his country invaded, just as tough economic sanctions restored peace and prosperity to Zimbabwe after the worst of the Robert Mugabe years, and just as crippling sanctions forced Fidel Castro to acknowledge the inherent inferiority of communism and relinquish power long ago, sanctions will fix all our problems with Iran.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad agrees that tough sanctions are the safest course for Iranian stability. "People are getting tired of me here" he said in a recent open letter to Western diplomats, "I really need the West to take aggressive action so I have someone to blame all our problems on. Can I get some help here?"
Ahmadinejad: "Can't you see I'm hurting for a scapegoat?"
Clinton: "Hang in there, Mahmoud, help is on the way!"
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