Thursday, February 11, 2010

An Open Letter to Drona from James's Loyal Readers


We, the loyal readers of this blog, have come out of the comments section into the main part of the blog to counter your revolution.

Drona, we reject you.

We reject Stalin as our leader.

We reject your view on cowards. We may be courageous or cowardly, but we are powerful nonetheless.

We reject submission to your totalitarian unity.

We reject your manifesto on writing. We like lies and jokes. We like complicated and meaningful writing.

We reject your manifesto on reading. We will read smut if we please. Sometimes we are pleased to read Menachem Bloodaxe or The Brothers Brar. We will even read these two works at the same time. They complement each other very nicely, like listening to Dark Side of the Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz.

We fully reject "Tender Buttons," even if it is assigned.

We reject listening to you. And shame on you for including a mentally ill painter in your authoritarian commands!

We reject your manifesto on the telling of history. We will continue to search for ancestral stories, interesting and unknown bits of history, journals of people in hiding, and letters hidden in an army rucksack of rags sent from a secret attic.

We reject your "friendly" warning. We refuse to help you locate our supporters. We are willing to die or go to a tea party in exile before we submit to your threats.

We reject the recurring label "decadent hobo" for the blog's true author. He may look like a homeless man since he's been in hiding all of this time, but he is not, well, not really, decadent. Okay. Just stop calling James names.

You do not have our support. We spit upon your requests. We metaphorically shred your posts and manifestos.

You will never have our thumbs, Drona. You are not a teacher; you are a tyrant.

You can see now that the loyal readers of this blog still have power. We will strip the red and the revolution from this blog. We will delete your profile and your picture. We have the power to overcome your tyrannical rule.

All loyal readers who wish to displace Drona and the Communists, add your comments to this post. We will show Drona that we are not afraid and the people truly hold the power.

Long live James!


  1. Although this post indicates that James Goldberg is the author, he is not. We have broken into his account to rally his readers. Drona, we are the people. We have the power.

  2. We also reject the turning of this blog into a red that is hideous to behold. This red may work on flags and book covers, but it does not work online.

  3. Don't worry, Drona! We are still on your side!

    Big Sister

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Hmm... No name on the post besides "the people." Yet the people who comment are encouraged to give names. If I were a malevolent dictator I just might try a ploy like this to weed out dissidents.

    Be that as it may. I'm with Kathy and the (hopefully genuine) author of the post. Drona's tirades make me tired. I'm for the liberation of James.

    Let's get a posse together. Drona, your days are --ack--

  6. [A man in a grey trenchcoat steps out of the shadows. He raises a pistol. The muffled click of a silenced gun sounds three times more in quick succession. With the toe of his shoe he kicks the body over to gaze into the dead face. Then he turns and disappears into the shadows.]

  7. You can trust the true author of the post. I am responsible for the removal of the red background.

  8. dadeckr, we shall avenge you!

  9. Death to tyrants! Down with Drona!!! The people have a voice and we will use it. Long live James.

  10. For more than a week now, an unmarked white van has been parked in front of my house. I know that my every move is recorded. Supporting the people in the endeavor to reclaim this blog may cost me my life.

    However, I cannot let fear overcome me. I must stand for what I believe.

    Leave the blog now, Drona. Or we will force you from power.

    I am sure Kira will understand . . . one day.

  11. Bring back James! Bring back James!

  12. Can I just be one more person to express relief that the red background is gone. It was so uncomfortable to read. I think my eyes even bled a few times, but maybe that was just the red burned on to my retnas.
    Hey, Drona--se ya sucka.


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