Saturday, July 25, 2009

Dear Readers

I think you are lost, perhaps you took a wrong right turn (ah! how the hateful idiosyncrasies of the English language make even this sincere statement look like a bad joke!) some time ago and ended up somewhere not in the twenty-first century.

I asked for feedback two days ago. I have received only a handful of comments (many of which fell through an inherited genetic gap between the index and middle fingers of my hand). Thanks to Google Analytics, I know that forty-one to sixty-six of you have visited this blog since then--I am led to the impossible conclusion that some of you still believe in thinking before you write. How outdated! How positively--dare I say it?--dinosaurian! (Disclaimer: I actually did have to stop and check whether that was really a word before writing it, which probably makes me look like a hypocrite. But before you condemn me on that count, consider: if we never said anything hypocritical, the world would fall silent, and that's like letting the monkeys win. Speaking of silence, I need to get back out of this parenthetical whisper. It's too quiet in here.)

Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone insisted on thinking before typing? The internet would be, at best, 5% of its current size. Travesty! Catastophe! Apocalypse!

You'd better get writing before the ghost of Marlon Brando comes to haunt us.


  1. I'll only post a comment if you can PROMISE me that the ghost of Marlon Brando will haunt me.

  2. That's Apocalypse Now Marlon Brando and not Streetcar Named Desire Marlon Brando...but you don't care, do you?

    I am sort of amazed by you ability to stay attracted to men as they get old and crazy and ultimately refuse to wear pants during shooting to enforce their demand not to be filmed below the waistline.

  3. James, you should know that people like to read (passive) and not write (active). I'm inherently lazy, and will remain lazy for many years to come hopefully. Wait a second. Did I just write something? Dangit!

  4. I think that you should make up new words. That fights the problems with people not using enough words. See lately the the problem is that people are forgetting our vocabulary, so in a sense we are losing words, so if we make up words, then maybe we can counter act that problem. Of course in the end you didn't make up a word, as you looked it up in the dictionary. I know that's not commenting on the whole post, but you said just type don't think, so there you have it!

  5. What if I want Guys and Dolls Marlon Brando? I'm ashamed to admit it, but that's the only one of him I really know. And while I know it's not a wonderful him, it still is pretty cute.


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